Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Puppy Tales

Alex and the Girls have been driving me a little nutty over the past week or so. For your consideration I present the following tales.

Scenario One

Next to my bed is a chest of drawers. I keep several items I might need during the night in the second drawer that I keep open at night. Things like sleeping pills, asthma inhalers, handkerchiefs, cough drops and lip balm are all in a little open basket waiting to be used if needed.

Alex has decided that this is where I keep my toys and has started to steal things from it and bury them in the back yard.

I didn't realize he was doing this until the other day when I went to grab some lip balm and it wasn't in the basket. I then noticed that I was down to only one inhaler, no sleeping pills, no cough drops and only one handkerchief! After following him around outside I found all the missing items in a little cache he made for himself in a corner the yard.

No more open drawer.

"You mean you don't want this rope shredded?"

Scenario Two

My 'office' is in one of the spare bedrooms. Alex and the Girls used to drive me crazy competing with each other to sit in my lap while I work on the computer. I solved this by placing a board across the entrance to the room... short enough that I can step over it and tall enough that they can't jump over it.

Now they have decided that they can have wrestling matches outside the door while I work. I finally had had enough of all the growling, barking and running around and stepped out to lecture them on their poor behavior. All three sat down to listen to my lecture. Once I stopped they started up again. At that point I grabbed the spray bottle filled with water that I have used in the past to discipline them. All three sat again and looked at me expectantly.

Alex sat wagging his tail and looked earnestly looking at me as if to say..'I'll be good Momma. Really I will.' The girls just looked at me, no tail wagging and no remorse. Then Kemora started lecturing me! It sounded to me like she was saying..'You think your going to spray me you bitch? Fat chance. We can do whatever we want and you can't do anything about it!'.

I sprayed both Girls and they decided to go outside for more fun and games. Alex decided to stay and whine outside the 'office' until I could stop what I was doing and let him sit on my lap.

Need a substitute for the water bottle sprayer.

"You think this face needs discipline?"

Scenario Three

This morning I was sitting at the kitchen table deciding what to eat for breakfast when I noticed Alex and the Girls were very interested in some paper ont he floor of the living room. I couldn't see what it was but decided to leave them alone. I then noticed that I couldn't see the paper, or them, anymore so I decided to investigate.

One of them (Alex?) had grabbed the cereal box off the kitchen table, opened it, dragged out the inner bag, torn a hole in the inner bag and the three of them then proceeded to eat about half a large bag of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Gross! What was left was covered in doggy drool and dirt.

Need to buy more cereal!

"Of course I didn't do it!"

So there it is. Three Scenarios, all true, about Alex and the Girls and how they drive me crazy. If my son hadn't already given me grey hair, these guys would have done it for him.


heather fish said...

You are helping assure my daughter never gets that dog she keeps begging for!!!

Luzette B said...

It's a good thing your sleeping pills were in a child-proof bottle.

Joanne said...

Those puppies keep you young!

I liked your photo and blurb in the latest issue of Notions. 90 (& maybe more) cool ties!