Today Alice decided that I had to see that two-faced Queen of Veterinary Medicine and her evil sidekick. You may know them as Dr. Jen and Terry. They are two of the nicest humans you could ever meet but once I'm all wiggly, giving them kisses and cleaning their ears, they do horrible things to me. I fall for it every time, no matter how much I try to be standoffish they always win me over. Today was just about the worst visit ever.
I went to them because Alice was worried that something was wrong with my stitches. There had been a couple of spots of blood on my bandages and I kept trying to rub them off. Both she and I thought they would remove the old bandages and replace them with another cool color, like lime green, to go with my beautiful red coat. Those demons took off all my pretty purple bandages and left them off! That's right - I'm now naked! Now everyone can see all my stitches, bruises and holes. The Babes (you may know them as the girls - Kemora and Kelis) will never look at me or let me sleep with them again! I had hoped that the bandages would come off when my duelling scars had healed. No such luck.
The worst thing is that I now have to wear this ugly collar all the time now so I won't lick my stitches and cause more damage. No matter how much I protest and argue, Alice will not let me remove the collar except to eat or to go on walks. We just came back from a walk and I didn't try to lick myself for seconds at a time. You'd think after all this time she woud trust me. Maybe she'll take off the collar when we go to sleep tonight. I better start practicing my pathetic, sad look so she'll give in. Do you think this will work?Hey, Alice! Ignore that last part.. heh, heh, heh... I promise I won't lick myself tonight when we go to bed. Honestly! Don't I have a face you can trust?