Friday, May 4, 2007

Lessons Learned by a Mother

These are not original to me but are from the Stitchin Heaven newsletter called Hot Flashes. Their website is http://www.stitchinheaven.com. If you are interested in quilting this is one of the best on-line stores. Now on to the list.

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Certain Lego's will pass right through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
9. Super glue is forever.
10. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
11. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
12. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
13. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
14. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
15. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time
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