Friday, May 4, 2007

Lessons Learned by a Mother

These are not original to me but are from the Stitchin Heaven newsletter called Hot Flashes. Their website is If you are interested in quilting this is one of the best on-line stores. Now on to the list.

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house four inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Certain Lego's will pass right through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
9. Super glue is forever.
10. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
11. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
12. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
13. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
14. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
15. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time

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