1 Every purse and coat pocket is rifled when you walk through the door.
2 The bed has sausage shaped lumps under the covers.
4 Your face gets licked by a dog standing on the back of the couch.
5 When you come into the house after being away only minutes and you are greeted like you've been gone for 10 years.
7 When the owner's introduce their Dachshund as their other son/daughter.
8 Footstools are placed strategically around the furniture and bed.
9 The house is decorated with Dachshund items.
10 The owner is decorated with Dachshund items.
11 Gates are placed in each doorway.
12 After the doorbell rings, you can't hear a thing for 10 minutes.
13 The alarm clock is set for HIS wake up time.
14 Dachshund "nose art" is proudly displayed on each window.
15 There are at least 45 balls laying around the house.
16 All socks, underwear, and shoes have holes in them.
18 You have to look before you take a step.
19 All squeak toys no long have squeaking ability.
20 The doors to many rooms must remain closed.
21 The owner's bed never remains made.
22 Rugs and furniture are all dark colors.
24 You will find dogs instead of clothes in the laundry basket.
25 When you arrive, you find the living room covered with chewed up toilet paper rolls, Kleenex, etc�
26 All snow is shoveled from the yard to protect the "Ta-Ta's" of male Dachshunds.
27 You notice small fox holes in the yard.
30 All waste baskets and trash cans are elevated at least 3 ft. from the ground.
32 A cupboard is full of tiny clothes that were purchased before the owner realized that Dachshunds would rather remain nudists.
33 Company doesn't come around much anymore.
34 The owner talks a lot about getting a super king-sized bed.
35 The living room looks like it's covered with snow due to the batting which came out of de-stuffed toys.
36 Blankets cover each piece of furniture for better burrowing purposes.
37 The owner had no food yet his Dachshund has plenty of premium dog food.
38 The mailman is warned, "Watch out our he'll bite a hole in your sock."
39 The mailman passes a brightly colored card to other mailmen saying, "A dangerous animal lives inside. Do not use mail slot."
40 Bricks are placed inside trash cans so they don't get tipped over.
41 The Dachshund gets kisses before the owner's significant other.
42 The owner runs around looking for a "sitter" if they're going to be gone for more than a few hours.
43 It is too dangerous to walk around the house without shoes because of partly chewed up Nyla-Bones.
44 Little blue pee-pads are placed by the back door.
45 You notice that The Dachshunds receive more Christmas presents than human kids. .
47 The grass is mowed very very very short.
48 There is always plenty of toilet paper to pick up poops.
49 The owner's bed is covered with no less than 4 gutted toys, 3 balls, and 2 nyla-bones.
50 You are immediately told not to sit in the dog's chair.
It's amzing how many of these items are true for my home ;-)
Thanks to Dachshund Rescue of Houston for this post on Facebook..