Last week I had a birthday. Not a BIG one, just a little one. As I live alone and the dogs were away on a sleep over I got to spend most of the day exactly how I pleased so I indulged myself a whole lot.
Indulgences like raspberry jam filled donuts for breakfast (planned on two and ate four!), an onion soup mix seasoned flank steak open faced sandwich for lunch with the last of the wine from a couple of nights ago, weed pulling in the back garden (impossible to do with three little eager helpers), a great burger from Smash Burgers for dinner wih Paul and Sandy and four (tha's right FOUR!) old science fiction movies while I finished knitting up a pair of purple socks.
Not a wild day but definitely pleasant until I realized that my life has changed a whole heck of a lot from last year at this time.
Five years ago my Mom passed away and last September my Dad joined her. Without your parents around, birthdays just aren't the same as they used to be. As a child a coveted toy and cake may be used to commemorate the day. As an adult, a big check was always forhcoming with a poorly sung 'Happy Birthday' thrown in for good measure.
Now, little indulgences take the place of family centered activites. Good wishes from friends, children and siblings are graciously accepted but its just not the same.
Although I know that neither of my parents could have survived their final illnesses I am now profoundly missing them. I could really use another poorly sung rendition of 'Happy Birthday' even if the day is long gone.
Maybe they were singing in heaven on the 11th and all the other residents were cringing as I used to do ... now that brings a smile to my face!