Back From the Frozen North

I returned yesterday from Canada and a visit with my brothers and father. The key purpose of the trip was to hear the prognosis for my father's recovery from his stroke in late August. We did not hear a lot of good news. There was a lot of damage to the front of his brain which will not recover. He will continue to have poor executive decision making and is argumentative and easily distracted when asked to do tests by the occupational therapist. He has seen improvement in his physical skills but will not be able to live without 24/7 assistance for most everyday tasks, like getting out of bed, going to the toilet or getting dressed, for the rest of his life. His biggest physical problem is that he does not know where his left side is most of the time. I watched several PT sessions and in each one he seemed unable to keep both halves of his body coordinated.

It was not a great time as he can change his demeaner between one breath and the next. I took him to the local mall for lunch and some shopping on Friday. It was a really stressful time as one moment he would be engaging in a nice sonversation then he would start criticizing the family for ignoring him. I had a hard time with that as the last thing I wanted to be doing was freezing in Canada and continuing to clean his filthy apartment. That evening a couple of his friends came to the hospital and he could not remember that he had been out of the facility for the first time since he was admitted. His roommmate had to remind him of the trip, the purchases he had made and that his daughter had arranged it.

Frustration all around. My younger brother noted that all of us kids had cried that week... probably the first time since we were beating each other up in the backyard growing up in Stayner.

It started snowing Saturday night and didn't end until there was about a foot of snow on the ground Sunday night so I did no see him on Sunday. I was paranoid on Monday about my flight (most were cancelled on Sunday) so I headed straight to the airport on Monday for my flight home. Unfortunately my last sight of him was sitting in his wheelchair looking befuddled as a nurse tried to get him into the washroom for some much needed toilet time.

I really don't want to go back but I figure I will in March to see if he can be moved to a long term care facility and discuss with him, if possible, what we should do with his apartment. Despite the medical opinion I hope he will become more coherent before then.